A Christmas Tale Yugioh Style
by Assassin of the Shadows
Summary: This is PG-13 just to be safe! This is a christmas present for my friends! It contains Shonen-ai (boyxboy love) for those that know me (Ch. 5 is up!)
1. Snow Reaction

Hello!  
  
After living without a calendar for three months, I have finally found out that Christmas is tomorrow.  
  
It's a good thing I did my Christmas shopping early... O.o  
  
So due to the extreme evil thought Kimajime and Jekoi are giving me-  
  
Kimajime & Jekoi: Teehee  
  
I give you, a pointless chapter full of Christmas fluff. (Yes I know this chapter is small... but it's the thought that counts. PLUS! I'm writing the second chapter as we speak/read!)  
  
*bows* please try to enjoy and have a merry Christmas (Happy Hanukkah to those who are Jewish...)  
  
*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A Christmas Tale... Yugioh style  
  
*~*~*~*~*~  
  
After two years of snow-less winters, all of Domino's inhabitants were happy to see the giant white fluffy snowflakes fall to the ground. and NOT melt from contact (except for those stupid weather reporters who called for sunshine).  
  
To all Christmas and/or winter lovers this was pure heaven, and to those who felt nothing... this was just another day, with walk shoveling put into their schedule.  
  
But what made this year's Christmas truly memorable would be that this Christmas was to be witnessed by three insane Yamis (except for one who was only slightly insane).  
  
"SWEET MOTHER OF GOD! RYOU!! THAT EVIL DR. PEACOCK HAS COMPLETELY STOLEN THE WORLDS COLOR. partially!!" [a/n: the evil dr. Peacock is from the Toucan Sam fruit loop commercials... he tries to steal the worlds color for himself...]  
  
Sleepy brown eyes opened slowly. A yawn escaped from the small boy's mouth as he threw back the warm covers from his body. "What Kura-kun?" He yawned cutely.  
  
He winced as the sound of thunderous footsteps tramping up the stairs assaulted his still foggy mind.  
  
His bedroom door flew open and with it his sugar-high Yami flung himself to his bed. Ryou watched with slight detached amusement as his Yami crawled over him and opened his window with a bang. "The colors Ryou! That blasted Peacock has hatched his evil scheme to drown our world in white!" Bakura then proceeded to bang poor Ryou's forehead against the window pang in hopes it would help bring him (Ryou) to his senses about the situation.  
  
"Bakura. It's. Just. Snow. Not. An. Evil. Plot. Against. The. World. OWW!!!" Ryou yelled in-between each bang against the window.  
  
Bakura stopped his abuse; "Oh. Snow... what is snow?" He asked.  
  
Ryou sighed, and rubbed his head gingerly; "Itai..." He hissed as he applied a little too much pressure.  
  
Bakura noticed this, and nuzzled Ryou's cheek in apology, "I'm sorry Ryou- koi."  
  
Ryou smiled, and stuck his tongue out cutely. "Ba~ka!" He giggled and flicked Bakura on his nose. Bakura smirked fondly at his light and leaned his face into Ryou to give the other an Eskimo kiss. (rubbing of the noses)  
  
"Here, I'll show you what snow is." Ryou murmured, and grabbed a hold of Bakura's hand. He slipped on his housecoat and guided Bakura to the front door.  
  
Bakura looked around out-side for what seemed like the first time all over again. Everything was so white and cold. And now that he knew that it was no evil threat, he stood and admired the sheer beauty of it. Ryou told him how the snow was made, but he tuned most of the scientific stuff out, he knew that it came from the clouds and that was enough for him.  
  
Pure white was falling from the sky; a gift from heaven.  
  
He glanced around and saw some of the neighborhood children playing and building with the snow. Some of them were rolling the snow into rather large looking balls, which Ryou said would soon be snowmen. Some of the children were lying on their backs moving their arms and legs; Ryou said that they were making snow angels.  
  
And some of the children were packing snow into small balls, which Ryou's only reply was - "DUCK!!!"  
  
Bakura opened his eyes with a glare, and whipped the freezing cold snow off his face. He turned to glare at his lover who was laughing gently behind his hands. He halfheartedly chased after the boy, who let out a happy shriek of protest.  
  
It soon ended with Bakura atop of Ryou in the snow, making out in front of everyone who happened to walk by and see. They pulled apart for air and Bakura watched Ryou pant for breath, the white mist mingling with his own. Ryou began to shiver, "I think we should go in now." He said, teeth chattering.  
  
Bakura nodded, and lifted the pale boy up, he helped wipe the snow off the boy's clothes and body, concern showing on his face as his love continued to shiver violently. "Will you be alright?" He asked.  
  
Ryou nodded and laughed softly, "I'll be fine, I just have a bit of a chill."  
  
Bakura guided him back into the house and told Ryou to change into warmer clothes. Ryou was quick to comply, and quickly made his way back up stairs to change, a soft promise of hot chocolate lingering in his mind.  
  
Ryou sighed happily as he pulled on a snug-fitting charcoal gray sweater. It was at times like this that he was glad Jonouchi-kun and Yugi-kun locked Bakura and him in the elevator.  
  
He pulled on some black fleece pants, and grabbed a pale green ribbon off his dresser to tie his hair back. After checking himself over quickly he turned and skipped down the steps towards the living room where Bakura was waiting.  
  
He settled down on the couch cushion, only to find himself dragged across the couch and pressed snuggly against Bakura's side. Bakura lifted a warm mug of hot chocolate off the tray that was resting on the coffee table in front of them. He handed it over to Ryou, who took it gratefully.  
  
They sipped they sweet liquid quietly just enjoying the other's warmth and company.  
  
And though it seemed like a perfect moment of cuddling Ryou couldn't help but wonder how the others were taking the first day of Christmas.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~  
  
We'll soon find out... ^.~  
  
Thank you all for those who have read my other works, this little fluffy fic is for all of you.  
  
I also dedicate this fic to Madame Ruby (who talks to me more than my friends do u_u), Chelsea (Meesa-Cookie), Natalie (Nat-Kat), Barbra (B.D (Bloody Dragon)), and I guess Tara (Tala)  
  
Thank you again.  
  
If you didn't like this little opening. then just leave now, I don't need to hear/read your pointless drabble about how much you despise me and/or my fic so if you don't like what you've read so far. Do us all a favor and keep it to yourself.  
  
If you did like my fic, then please review! Because I love to hear peoples POSITIVE feedback. 


	2. Who's Santa Claus?

I was told that I should put disclaimers in here... so, meh what the heck.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own YUGIOH, Santa Claus, or any candy names that will be mentioned in later chapters!  
  
Warning: There is extreme OOC in this fic, why? Well... they all have to be OOC to love each other right? They don't mention any yaoi relationships in the anime or the manga (to my knowledge) there is also extreme insanity in this fic! So make sure to be in a some-what giggly mood while reading this!!  
  
Lsilrauko - I hope you're still in your happy mood ^ ^;  
  
*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Unlike Bakura and Ryou. Yugi had no problems with Yami, as he told him about all sorts of things, different weather conditions happening to be one of their many topics. So when it began snowing that fateful day Yami did not scream bloody murder and accuse of evil peacocks taking over the world... but then he wasn't too happy about the extreme change in the atmosphere either...  
  
"YUGI!!! IT'S SNOWING OUTSIDE!!!" Yami yelled giving his little angel a rough shake on the shoulder.  
  
"Not now Yami..." Yugi mumbled.  
  
"But the outside is covered in complete white!" Yami argued.  
  
Yugi turned over and gave Yami his scary glare, "Listen! I can understand it's snowing outside... and yes it's your first time seeing it; but *I* just had hot passionate sex last night! And *I* am tired, sore and you're not making it any better!!"  
  
Yami could be better described as this : O.O!  
  
(Yeah... I know... Yugi can be scary when he doesn't get his full night's rest... ¬_¬)  
  
So Yami decided it was in his best interest to let Yugi sleep for a little while longer, but that didn't stop him from moving to look out the window every five minutes to see if the snow was still on the ground.  
  
It was several hours later that Yugi finally felt that he was in the mood to get up let alone go outside and explore. He started to get dressed and watched with delight as Yami followed his example to dress warmly. In only a few minutes Yami found himself outside in the *cold* and *wet* snow.  
  
'I don't think I like this 'snow' thing anymore...' Yami thought to himself bitterly. Yugi shuffled through the deep snow at the same time creating a clear path for his Yami to walk around. Yami just watched in awe as he saw his love - clad in a heavy green winter coat, green and yellow scarf and green and yellow mitts- stared down at his feet in what seemed like immense concentration. [a/n: Kawaii ^ ^]  
  
"What would you like to do on your first official white Christmas?" Yugi asked looking up at him with his big violet eyes.  
  
Yami stopped to ponder the question then halted his thoughts. He had absolutely *NO* idea what people were supposed to do in snow. So he turned calmly towards Yugi and replied; "I haven't got a clue. What is it that you can do with this... stuff?"  
  
Yugi giggled and took Yami's red mitten-clad hand and proceeded to drag him towards the backyard. "We'll make a snowman then." He chirped.  
  
Yami looked at him strangely, "A snowman?"  
  
"Yep!" Yugi said, he turned around and noticed his Yami's nervous look; "Don't worry. We won't be doing anything dangerous! I'll show you what to do."  
  
And so then Yugi and Yami continued to the backyard to make a snowman, and during this new and amassing discovery Yami will learn something else...  
  
He will hate snowmen with an absolute passion.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Well... while Yami was informed, and Bakura was soothed to reassuring it's funny to say that this wasn't any of the out comes with the Ishtar residence. You see, unlike Ryou and Yugi who have seen snow, Malik, has not. So you can imagine when a slightly insane boy is awoken by his complete insane Yami yelling about something along the lines of 'Instant Mashed Potato Flakes'.  
  
"Shut up Marik! It's not potato flakes!" Malik growled shoveling more cereal into his mouth. His eye started to twitched in annoyance as he felt his cracked lover poking him repeatedly in the cheek. "That's not true Malik! It has to be, I have never seen anything like it before, and *you* don't seem all to thrilled about all that white food shit lying on the ground. Honestly, what kind of society are you humans living in nowadays? In my day we didn't waste such food."  
  
"Yeah? Well in your day, a hard drive was a bumpy path and rickety old cart!" Malik shot back now pissed off.  
  
Marik glared at his light with a somewhat hurt expression. "You're making me sound so old!" Marik sobbed, dramatic tears now pouring from his eyes.  
  
"YOU ARE OLD!!" Malik yelled.  
  
"Well if you're so smart then why don't you tell me what all _that_ is outside!"  
  
"IT'S SNOW!!"  
  
"Nani?"  
  
Malik let out an annoyed sigh, "It's snow... sorta like frozen rain only... softer."  
  
"Well then how come I've never seen it before?!"  
  
"You lived out in the desert! *I* lived out in the desert, rain to us is a miracle! Could you imagine the shock we'd get if it actually _snowed_ in Egypt?!"  
  
"Well I suppose that is somewhat impossible..." Marik admitted, stroking his chin in thought.  
  
"It's completely impossible!" Malik yelled again still annoyed yet a classic sweat drop was making its way down the side of his head. [a/n: _;]  
  
After what seemed like two blessed minutes of silence Marik jumped out of seat, knocking his chair back in the process; "I have an excellent idea Malik-koi!"  
  
"What you're going to shut-up for more than three minutes for once?" Malik replied sarcastically.  
  
Marik dropped to his knees and with a childish cry wailed, "Why are you so mean to me?!!?!?!?!" He then proceeded to make some extra loud wails just to annoy Malik to no end.  
  
"ALRIGHT ALREADY!!!" Malik yelled over the noise, finally when Marik decided to stop he sighed and muttered, "What was your oh-so-brilliant idea?"  
  
"Why don't we go over to Ryou and Bakura's? Ryou's lived in places with this kind of weather maybe he can help explain about it?"  
  
"You mean you actually want to go and learn something about weather?"  
  
"Well... no, but it will seem like a good excuse to get inside their house!"  
  
"That *is* an excellent idea Marik! Let's go!"  
  
"Right!"  
  
And so the two crazed Egyptians went to harass -I mean question the two albinos.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Snow is the precipitation falling from the clouds in the form of small ice crystals." Ryou answered matter-of-factly. The other three teens in the room stared in wonder at the white haired boy who threw that answer from the very top of his head.  
  
Though I can't say most of the wonder was from just the words... but maybe the mouth forming them?  
  
"Why is it that when you step in snow it makes that crunching noise?" Marik suddenly blurted out, and then resumed his position along-side Bakura and Malik watching as those soft, plump lips formed more words that he would not pay attention to. He did throw in the occasional 'uh-huh', and 'really?' where he thought it was appropriate.  
  
It wasn't until after Ryou started explaining why you shouldn't eat snow that Bakura realized the two tanned boys were paying a *little* too much attention to *his* new named snow angel.  
  
He grabbed a hold of Ryou's hand and yanked him a bit harshly onto his lap. Ryou let out a little eep and stared into Bakura's face with confusion. Bakura raised his hand and brought it down to deliver a smack on Ryou's round rump. "Mine." He murmured giving Ryou a heated kiss. Ryou pulled away and buried his face into the crook of Bakura's shoulder. Bakura glared at the two tanned teens that glanced away trying to look somewhat innocent.  
  
"You know, all this talk about snow is making me even more excited for Christmas." Ryou mumbled into Bakura's shirt.  
  
"Christmas?" The two Yamis echoed.  
  
Ryou nodded and lifted his head, "Christmas is a christen holiday celebrating the birth of Christ. It's a time where you spend some quality time with your family and loved ones."  
  
"Yeah, and then there is also Santa Claus and his world-round trip to deliver toys to all good boys and girls."  
  
"Santa Claus?" Marik repeated with a slight snicker.  
  
"You make him sound like some kind of god." Bakura mumbled.  
  
"Well he's a very magical being who flies in the night sky by a sleigh pulled by eight flying magical reindeer. And on December 24th he delivers presents to all those who were good that year, and coal to those who were naughty."  
  
"In other words, you're going to get jack shit."  
  
"Well what about you Malik-koi... you've been very *naughty* this year." Marik reminded him huskily leaning in to nip his love's ear. Malik's eyes closed and he let out a pleasurable moan.  
  
"So you're saying this 'Santa Claws' gives presents to everybody in one night? That's impossible!"  
  
Ryou smacked him lightly on the shoulder, "He's magic!"  
  
"Well how does he make all those toys... there are over two billion people in the world! Unless he uses magic for that as well" Marik questioned.  
  
"No!" Malik yelled, glaring at him, "He has his Christmas elves to help him."  
  
Bakura and Marik looked at each other before bursting out in laughter. "Forgive us if we have problems believing you!!" They howled.  
  
Ryou, starting to become annoyed grabbed Bakura's hair and pulled his head down so he could look into his eyes clearly, "I don't see why you're laughing. If such things like Santa and flying reindeer don't exists then do tell me how it's remotely possible how spirits whom once inhabited old artifacts of Egypt had found a way to take a physical body?"  
  
Bakura and Marik faltered, "Eh... you have a point..." They admitted.  
  
"So, this Santa Claws exists?"  
  
"Well no one knows because no one has ever seen him before, he gives presents when you're sleeping, and-"  
  
"How does he enter the homes of these people? Is he some type of super thief?"  
  
"No. He uses his magic to go down the chimney, and when a home has no chimney he uses his magic again to make one temporarily."  
  
Bakura and Marik both looked at each other with comical looks of amazement. "This 'Santa Claws' can do all that?" Marik whispered to Bakura, "Imagine the danger he is to everybody... complete access to everyone's home, he could take *anything* he wants." Bakura agreed.  
  
Both Yamis shot nervous/over-protective/possessive/almost-but-won't-admit- it-scared looks at their lights. Would this 'Santa be so cruel to steal their beloved lights for himself? Would he do the unthinkable and take away his (Santa) oh-so-obvious gift back? Surely it was Santa who led them to their hikaris... right? And they certainly weren't all to nice this year... so what if...  
  
"NOOOOO!!!!" They yelled out in anguish and immediately glomped onto Malik's and Ryou's waists.  
  
Both lights looked at each other and sweat-dropped. What has gotten into their Yamis? They were starting to act like they did when they are on sugar highs... and to their knowledge, they had none.  
  
Marik and Bakura quickly kissed their respected partners neck before racing to the telephone. They had to call Yami! They had to inform him the dangers of this magical being!  
  
In other words...  
  
Santa was going down!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~  
  
^ ^;; Woah... so OOC, but then that's like all my works, and I'm sorry to any Marik lovers... I always see him as a little childish now (I blame it on all the fanfics I've read with him like that!)  
  
Please review after this I'd love to read your POSITIVE comments. 


	3. Recruit!

This fic is losing its Christmas cheer... so I'm sorry for it being so late, I had chapters 3-6 done but then my mom's boyfriend decided he'd reprogram my computer to windows XP, let's just say I was too busy saving all my other documents that the folder containing these chapters slipped my mind. So I have to do these all over again.  
  
Sorry for the short chapter... the rest will be like this too I'm afraid...  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own YUGIOH or any of its characters, Santa Claus, or any candy brands mentioned in later chapters!  
  
Warning: Shonen-ai. Sorry you won't find any lemons... at least I don't think so... we'll have to see. Extreme OOCness so don't harp on me about this. Stupidity, and immature situations may be found here... it depends on who's reading this. Still it would be best to be in a hyper or dazed mood while reading this!  
  
There are also some [a/n] laced around in here so please try to read those too if you're feeling confused about something you've read you might find the explanation in there.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Okay, run this by me again as to why I should help you achieve this ridiculous goal?" Seth asked all the while trying to complete his previous task in slamming his front door shut in Bakura and Marik's faces.  
  
"We told you!" Marik growled angrily putting all his weight against the door, "This Santa Claws is evil! He'll come on the 24th and steal our hikaris!!"  
  
Seth let out a grunt of frustration, still trying to shut the door, much to his aggravation he soon found Bakura's foot wedged between the door and doorframe; "I still fail to see how this would scare me! My light and I have merged as one! I have no need to worry about him being taken away from me for he is my reincarnate!"  
  
"Ah yes! But- OW! You're forgetting one important thing!" Bakura hissed through his teeth.  
  
"Oh? And what might that be?" Seth asked, curious.  
  
"Seto cannot be classified as your light, for he is just what you said: you're reincarnation! So who is really your light? And I don't mean your goddamned brother either!" Bakura panted.  
  
"That's easy... it's Jou- Oh no! NOT JOUNOUCHI!!" Seth screamed stopping the endless struggle for the door. Which to those who guessed it, resulted in both Marik and Bakura flying into the house, which in turn slammed Seth to the ground, which left them in a heap of arms and legs in the middle of the hallway.  
  
"Seto?" A sleepy voice called softly.  
  
All three yamis stiffened and the two tried to make their presence unknown. Seth turned towards the staircase and gasped softly at his love. Jounouchi Katsuya stood at the top of the stairs clad in pale yellow pajamas and a mint green house coat, he stared down at who he thought was Seto rubbing the sleep out of his honey eyes.  
  
It didn't take Jou long to notice the distinct hard look on his love's face or how his eyes seemed two shades darker than their original color. "Seth?" Jou asked baffled, "What are you doing on the floor? Did something bad happen'?"  
  
"No." Seth smiled, "I was just discussing a topic with Bakura and Marik and... it got a little out of hand..."  
  
"Out of hand?" Jou echoed, not believing Seth for a moment and having no problems in showing it.  
  
"Yes, and I was just showing them out." He growled, glaring at the two shadows near the doorway. Jou followed his cold stare and perked up a bit.  
  
"But they came all this way just to visit you. They must be hungry..."  
  
Bakura and Marik both left their hiding places with a triumphant grin on their face. Count on Jou to persuade Seto (and of course Seth) into just about anything.  
  
[a/n: to save you readers from complete confusion. In my Yugioh fics I like to have Jou friends with Bakura and Marik. Why? Because I so love to see them as friends... and I made them friends in Fading Colors. Later chapters people... so there's a spoiler for you...]  
  
"Thanks Jou, we are a bit hungry and Yami will be coming over soon anyway..."  
  
Jou winced at this and plugged his ears while walking towards the kitchen.  
  
"WHAT?! The pharaoh is coming over to my house?!" Seth yelled so angrily you could almost see the flames of hate surrounding his body. "You did not mention that!"  
  
"SETH!!" Jou yelled.  
  
"What!?" He gulped at Jou's glare, "Jou?"  
  
"You're brother is still sleeping and I can't believe you still have that grudge against Yami. Or is it from something else now? Because I honestly thought you had gotten over that thanksgiving incident." Jou said, one blond eyebrow disappearing under his hairline.  
  
Seth let out a nervous chuckle and sat down at the kitchen table along with Bakura and Marik. Jou walked over to the fridge and pulled out a hunk of cheddar cheese and ham. He made the sandwiches, wrapped them in tin foil and set them in the oven. He tapped Seth on the shoulder and pointed to the oven silently telling him to keep an eye on them if they wanted to eat something non-burnt.  
  
"Where are you going?" Seth blurted.  
  
Jou blinked, "Back to bed. I have work in a few more hours and I think I can squeeze in another hour before getting ready for a shower..."  
  
"You mean you're going to leave me alone with them? Have you even heard what those two have been jabbering about?!"  
  
"Yes, and that is precisely why I do not want to be alone with you three at the moment. Whatever crazy ass ideas you guys come up with I want no part in it. I'll just sit by the phone along with Yugi and Ryou and wait to bail your ass outta jail."  
  
"Seth?" Bakura asked after seeing Jou leave the room, "Why is it that you didn't react so strongly to the snow... or did you already go crazy before we got here?"  
  
Seth sighed, "Unlike you nimrods I was reincarnated; I see everything Seto sees."  
  
"So in other words, he made Seto look like a dumb ass at a younger age..." Marik murmured around his mug of hot chocolate.  
  
Bakura laughed and Seth tried to kill the floor with his gaze.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Alright so what is our plan for this Santa Claws?" Yami asked curiously.  
  
"We just have to find him and destroy him."  
  
"Destroy him? Isn't that somewhat of a bad idea? I mean he delivers presents to everybody... it's not like people will just ignore his disappearance." Yami replied weakly.  
  
Seth, Bakura and Marik both looked at him owlishly. "Okay so I think we should start setting up traps for every room of our homes." Marik said starting to scribble away notes on their planning paper.  
  
"Okay..." Seth nodded. "So our main plan is to wait for him to come to us, but shouldn't we interrogate him first? What if our lights find out what we have done and never speak to us again?"  
  
"Oh they'll get over it." Marik replied.  
  
The other three yamis sweat-dropped. "Maybe yours won't but ours/mine will!" They said together.  
  
Thus Marik said something he shouldn't have, and all hell broke loose. All the hired help working at Kaiba's home that afternoon briskly walked by the living room- hearing murderous threats and insane screams was something they did *not* have to handle.  
  
"Um... guys, we have a problem..." Yami interrupted.  
  
Bakura, Marik, and Seth who happened to be in a very comical pose [a/n: if any of you have seen Sailor Moon it will be easier to describe, Bakura's got a firm grip on Marik's hair (as does Marik on his) and his hand is in Marik's mouth pulling at it... and Seth has a death grip on both their (Bakura and Marik) shirts.]  
  
"Whapht?" Marik yelled around Bakura's hand.  
  
"How are we going to find this Santa? We'd have to wait an awfully long time for him to come."  
  
Bakura removed his hand from Marik's mouth but refused to let go of his hair just yet, "Well I remember Ryou telling me that he visits the children in the local malls to hear what they would like for Christmas."  
  
Seth-who had already let go of the two- scratched his chin, he knew something about the Santas' at the malls but he couldn't quite remember... "So what do we do?"  
  
"WE GO TO THE DOMINO MALL!!" Marik cackled insanely, causing the other three yami's to sweat-drop as he used his shadow powers to create the dramatic lightning in the background.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"They're up to something." Malik stated, eating another French fry.  
  
Jou laughed nervously, "We could all figure out that much, I'm just saying that it must be something big."  
  
"Why?" Ryou asked slurping on his strawberry milkshake.  
  
"Because Seth is helping them."  
  
Yugi chocked on his burger, Malik dropped his fries, and everyone received a strawberry milkshake spray thanks to Ryou. "W-what do you mean Seth is helping them?" Malik finally stuttered.  
  
All of them were silent remembering the last time Seth decided to help their yamis... that was their trip to the zoo, when Bakura felt that the animals were being treated cruelly. All the yamis then decided to help free the animals. That was the last time Seth had helped them.  
  
[a/n: pretty much Seth only helps the others when they are going to do something _real_ bad]  
  
"What the hell do you think they're up to now?" Yugi sighed.  
  
"I don't know, I just hope I don't have to dig a penguin out of our toilet again." Ryou groaned covering his face with his hands.  
  
"Or bail them out..." Jounouchi murmured.  
  
Yugi, Malik, and Ryou cringed at the thought of three digit numbers and leering police officers. After a moments silence four teenagers ran down the halls of the mall screaming murder on Santa. The four just sat there slurping their pop and shakes in silence, they were not going to interfere... when things got too out of hand then-and only then- would they chase after them.  
  
"Pass the ketchup please." Malik asked.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Well there's chapter four. Thank you everyone who reviewed so far.  
  
Please make sure to review this chapter as well; everyone loves POSITIVE comments on their works. So if you didn't like this fic, please don't waste your energy in flaming me. I've received none so far so that's great. It's one or both things! People like my fic, or people are listening to my advice! 


	4. Santa 20?

Hello! Here's chapter four, hope you're all in a good mood today!  
  
Warnings: Shonen-ai (boyxboy love) OOCness, insane authoress trying to write a funny Christmas fic...  
  
Disclaimer: If I owned YUGIOH Anzu would be a rotten corpse lying in a deserted ditch, and Seto and Jou would gladly show their love to every room they could find!!  
  
¬ ¬ I also own none of the candy brand names mentioned in this and later chapters...  
  
*~*~*~*~*~  
  
It was all coming down to this moment. Four dark souls stood on unfamiliar ground ready to face the dangers that would surly fall upon them. These four were on a mission that could not be stopped by any costs.  
  
"Welcome to Santa's village!" A perky blond girl squealed. All four yamis cringed at the horrid outfit she was decked in. Green white and red. Evil colors...  
  
"Are you waiting for someone?" She blinked.  
  
"We're waiting for the big red man himself." Bakura said.  
  
The blond girl blinked, "Well he doesn't get off for a while... but his break should be in about fifteen minutes, so if you would like to wait..."  
  
Bakura and Marik were about to yell 'no' when Yami and Seth covered their mouths, "Thank you... we'll wait." Seth said putting on his charming smile.  
  
It did its job for the blond girl was blushing and with shaking hands she gave them each a candy cane; "Here! A treat from Santa Claus to you!" She gave them all a wink before literally skipping away. Her giant brass bells jingling with her movement.  
  
Marik grabbed the candy canes and threw them to the floor, they cracked in few places but he wasn't satisfied; he began to stomp on them and grind them into the cheap marble floor. "POISON! He knows of our plans, so now he is trying to kill us with his evil candy treats!"  
  
"Or maybe it was just a harmless piece of candy the woman gave us to help her with her awful flirting?" Yami suggested.  
  
Marik glared at him and in an almost childish voice said, "Oh sure, now you want to stand up for him." He-oh to hell with it he was saying it in childish voice, stubborn and everything.  
  
Thus the verbal insults began, at first it was harmless taunts between the pharaoh and the... insane being... then the taunts turned into small insults which escalated into very *heated* insults between the two. The only strange thing was that Seth was suddenly thrown into the bashing fest as well.  
  
"Santa's back." Bakura said.  
  
All three ended their 'argument' and turned towards the 'village'... which happened to be some rather crappy looking white fences, with cotton thrown on the floor, with a huge ass red chair that looked slightly uncomfortable; oh and we can't forget about the cheesy lights... yes, we mustn't forget about those...  
  
And there in that huge ass chair [a/n: we it was repeated on purpose] sat the red man himself. Yami, Bakura and Marik were exchanging evil looks, while Seth was looking doubtful. Suddenly it hit him, like a ton of bricks the answer came crashing down on his head. This Santa could be a fake.  
  
Yes he would never forget that awful day when his first trip to Santa was ruined.  
  
"Seth? Are you finished zoning out now? We're going to plan our attack."  
  
Seth snapped out of his thoughts and nodded his head, "Yes, but I now remember something about this Santa Claus."  
  
This caught the attention of the other three, "Eh? And what would that be?"  
  
"This Santa Claus is going to be a fake..."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"I'm sorry guys, but I just can't help but get the feeling that something really *really* bad is going to happen..." Ryou sighed. They had been browsing through certain shops looking for presents for their boyfriends, when Ryou started to complain and get worried. It's not like they were annoyed exactly, just every time he mentioned their lovers getting into trouble it then made them start to worry as well.  
  
"Okay fine, here's what we'll do. First we'll try to finish our shopping and then we'll start looking for them." Jounouchi suggested.  
  
The three hikaris' seemed okay with this answer and went about their shopping. Though neither of them pointed out that their shopping seemed to be going rather quickly...  
  
*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"What do you mean this Santa is going to be a fake?!" Marik yelled angrily.  
  
Seth sighed and began to tell the three yamis' the sad tale of his and Seto's trip to Santa Claus. He was sitting on his lap when he couldn't help but notice that his beard was crooked, he ignored that coming up with the childish excuse thinking that Santa just didn't trim in properly. But due to his curiosity and maybe because of the way this Santa seemed to reek of cigarettes and booze, he gave the beard a firm tug. The strings that were holding the beard on the man's face snapped and the beard, along with the hat and wig fell off, revealing a balding man in his late fifties.  
  
"YOU'RE NOT THE REAL SANTA!!!!!" He wailed.  
  
A stab of disappointment flared through his heart just thinking of the memory, he very much lost the Christmas spirit because of that day... had it not been for Jou he would still be grumbling 'hum-bug'.  
  
Bakura, Marik and Yami stood there shocked, and very surprisingly gave Seth a comforting hug. Though the hug didn't last long because fake or no fake one of the Santa's was going down today and Marik didn't care which one!  
  
With the flames of determination blazing in his violet eyes he leapt to Santa's throne with a battle cry. Many of the children who were gathered there cowered near their parents, and the parent's seemed to be trying as hard as possible to become invisible.  
  
Bakura, Seth and Yami dashed after the lunatic and gaped in shared looks of glee, horror, and just plain shock. Marik was yelling hateful things in Egyptian all the while slamming the poor Santa's head back against the plush chair.  
  
"How dare you ruin Seto's life with your foul lies you imposter!" Marik yelled in Japanese. A few innocent people who were wandering the halls stopped and gasped at the abuse-taking place, it didn't take long for the mall police to arrive but Marik's comrades were sure to keep an eye on them.  
  
"You fill these children's hearts with false hopes thinking that you are the real thing but you are nothing but a fake!" Marik shouted, and he ripped off the coarse fake beard, revealing a man in his twenties. The children started to run away crying and their parents desperately tried to chase after them.  
  
Needless to say that amid this utter chaos stood four young teenagers watching the whole scene. Ryou had a look that clearly said 'I knew it, why didn't anybody believe me' (u_u;;); Yugi was just standing there shocked because he never saw such violent behavior coming from his Yami (O_O!); Jou stood there embarrassed but grasping the humor of the situation (n_n;)...  
  
And Malik? Well...  
  
"ALRIGHT MARIK!! YOU SHOW THAT MOTHER F*CKING SANTA!! YEAH!!!!" (XD)  
  
::sighs:: well let's just say that the yamis' were finally under control after much pleading from their lovers. It turned out that they were right because they were given directions to the local jail and were told a rough estimate of what bail would be.  
  
Much to the yamis' annoyance their boyfriends were very busy fighting over each other over who should apologize more to the poor handsome firefighter who was doing a charitable thing as posing for Santa. Much to everyone's surprise it was Yugi and Ryou who were fighting for the most attention.  
  
Oh yes, not only were they going to destroy Santa... they were now going to destroy Marc the fireman as well...  
  
*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Oh come on Seth, you honestly weren't thinking I'd keep you here over night now did you?" Jou teased. Seth continued to pout and fume on his bench and crossed his arms in mocking anger.  
  
Seth who previously had a firm look on the left wall, flicked his gaze towards his love, "You were flirting with him." He huffed, snapping his gaze back to the wall.  
  
Jou felt a drop of sweat roll down the side of his face and he started to smile crookedly. "I wasn't being serious I was just-"  
  
"F-L-I-R-T-I-N-G!" Seth ground out loudly in his cell.  
  
Jou's eyes narrowed, and with a small growl of his own said darkly; "Out of all of us, I was doing the least amount of flirting, and Yami and them forgave their boyfriends, so why are you the only over-protective and OVERLY stubborn yami out of that bunch?"  
  
Seth's expression saddened, "I was only worried about-"  
  
"I know, but could you maybe hand the wheel back to Seto? I mean I love you all the same, but he's probably going hysterical right 'bout now."  
  
Seth sighed and nodded, but he got the hidden message, out of the two of them... Seto was the one who listened to Jou, and though he said he loved them just the same, he knew Jou held Seto in a higher regard then him.  
  
Strange how he wasn't mad about that anymore.  
  
The first thing Seto heard when he regained control of his mind and body was; "Try not to do something like that again you worry me sometimes..."  
  
And inside Seto's mind he could hear Seth stir and a silent agreement echoed throughout him.  
  
'Damn what did I miss this time?' He thought.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I wanted some Seth/SetoxJou action, so that last bit was thrown in there for my amusement and hopefully the same to some of you.  
  
Chapter 4 is done, and I must say that I'll have to make chapter 5 or 6 (cause I don't know which one I'll put it in yet) dedicated to my friend Tif; because I know she'll find great amusement with Marc's demise...  
  
:: can hear Tif in the background whispering "knives are fun" ::  
  
Please review and tell me what you think! ^ ^  
  
And stop printing my chapter's out Messa-Cookie and review at least once!! T_T 


	5. ActionReaction

Thank you everyone who reviewed I have but one thing to do/say:  
  
*whips out a metal baseball bat and starts smashing it down on Messa- Cookie's skull* How's this for an update?! *GIRI! GIRI! GIRI!* [* banging of the baseball bat...] Huh?! Fill my review with evil insane laughter will you?! *GIRI!!!* Enjoy it and leave me a great review next time!! *GIRI!!*  
  
n_n Ah... I love Messa-cookie...  
  
~  
  
I also received a random e-mail flame and so to be nice I decided to leave their name out. :: coughs and peers back at the e-mail :: pretty much it was this chick saying Bakura was her 'baby' and that the fact that I paired all the guys up was just :: peers again :: 'nasty and wrong! what the hell is wrong with u?!'  
  
So I decided to reply! ^ ^  
  
First of all I would like to point out to you people that (s)he reviewed chapter *4*! Here's the first thing that made me upset hun, why in Caybin's name would you flame me after reading all the chapters posted?! Bakura's yours? Let me see your signed paper cause if you can have Bakura then why the hell am I not allowed to have Hiei!?  
  
And another thing! (And this is what pisses me off to NO end) Why did you continue reading when it clearly says SHONEN-AI?! Was it not obvious what was going to happen after the first chapter?! Bakura and Ryou were making out and cuddling!  
  
Oh and your little bit of 'R u some nasty quer or something?! Normal ppl don't write that!!!'  
  
:: bashes her head on the keyboard and pulls out her mega-phone :: WELCOME TO REAL LIFE WHERE THINGS DON'T GO THE WAY YOU WANT IT TO!!!! So does this mean I have to be lesbian to write homosexual fics? If that's true then we have a LOT of people still hiding in the closet! Most yaoi and shonen-ai writers are in fact straight, you judgmental bitch!  
  
Grow up!  
  
Oh and by the way, nice spelling and grammar, you *really* impressed me there - not! How the hell can I take your rude comments seriously when you can't have the decency to write 'you' properly!?  
  
Warnings: Shonen-ai, craziness and OOC... I love f*cking up the personalities of innocent characters... ^ ^  
  
Disclaimer: *rubs her magic wishing rock and looks down at the author title on her YUGIOH manga* Damn! Still not working...  
  
*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Malik sighed and wrote yet another shopping mall address on the notepad he carried with him. Marik had refused to tell him what it was he was trying to accomplish, he knew for a fact it wasn't world domination that future dream died as soon as Ryou gave him a lecture along with Bakura about what he thought about world domination.  
  
%% Flash Back %%  
  
Ryou pouted cutely at the two yamis sitting on the sofa, "I don't see why you're so persistent on this take over the world thing."  
  
The two yamis then proceeded to tell him, how they would be oh-so-powerful, and how everyone would have to bow down to them.  
  
"Oh, I am so sorry, but if you don't mind me stating one small opinion of my own. The reason I can't be so enthusiastic with you're little dream is because it doesn't catch my interest. I mean, world domination!? It's so unoriginal now. EVERY big powerful being wants to take over the world; there is just no more creativity for it anymore. And *besides* that there's the little reminder that, everyone who has tried-key word *tried*- to take over the world was stopped, and your first attempt was a failure. So you two are pretty much following a 'dream' that was never your original idea, and one that will never be a reality..." [a/n: wow... that's the way to knock Tif off her killing spree...]  
  
%% Flash Back End %%  
  
Malik still couldn't help but snicker when he remembered how quickly Marik and Bakura had shut up after that statement.  
  
But back to his current task, writing down names and address, but coincidently enough, every mall he was searching had to have a mall Santa working there. He had to admit, it was real funny when Marik began to attack that Santa, but when he found out it was a sexy love-machine under that red suit and beard he began to worry. What if hunky firemen were acting out all the mall Santa's?  
  
"Poor Marc..." He sighed, but then soon let out a perverted chuckle, "You could save me from a fire *anytime*."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Ryou was enjoying a nice cup of hot chocolate and watching the news, though he would be quick to say he was bored out of his mind, he desperately wanted the channel changed but he was comfortable, and the remote control was all the way on the other side of the coffee table.  
  
'It's just not worth the extra effort...' He mentally sighed.  
  
"Shocking news was discovered last night around the local fire department." The female news reporter said, "From what police have told us a firefighter by the name of Marc Strauter, was found bound and gagged by Christmas garland. He appeared to be slightly abused and was discovered naked and covered in very crude graffiti."  
  
"How embarrassing..." The male news reporter mumbled covering his face with his hand, now, we can all tell he was trying to sound sincere... but admit it... even you were chuckling at the mental image - on the inside at least...  
  
Ryou stared at the television screen wide-eyed. "He wouldn't..." He said softly, mostly to reassure himself.  
  
"I'm home Ryou-whom I love so much and could not live a day without!!"  
  
Ryou's expression turned sour... "Yes he would..."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Out of all the things you could have done, why in GODS NAME! Would you start with this?" Jounouchi muttered, but like the news reporters on the television he was having a hard time keeping a straight face. Everyone would know from experience that the guilt trip lecture bit does not work when you're refraining from laughing your ass off.  
  
Seto growled and turned his ISG [a/n: Icy Seto Glare] towards the wall screen TV, as if it were to blame. "They told me what happened..."  
  
Jounouchi blinked at this and with curiosity in his voice asked; "Told you what?"  
  
Seto's glare lessened when his gaze fixed on the brown-eyed boy's, "He sexually assaulted you, he _flirted_ with you... you were flirting back."  
  
Jounouchi let out a frustrated groan, "Oh please, not this again..."  
  
Seto's glare hardened, "Did you find him attractive?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Somewhat irked with that blunt answer Seto tried again, "If you had the chance would you have had sex with him?"  
  
"Sure, I've always wondered what a fire hose felt like." (Jou: n n)  
  
Seto jumped to his feet with the intentions to kill clearly seen in his eyes. "Just kiddin'!" Jou answered, laughing nervously. Seto's ice blue eyes narrowed in suspicion, but seeing Jounouchi's taunting face he settled down. "But was it you that wrote 'I molest little dogs'?" Jounouchi couldn't help but snicker.  
  
And Seto joined in too, but his snickering was darker, like the kind of snicker that says 'yes-and-other-things-you-don't-know-about'.  
  
After witnessing Seto laugh over severely scaring a man for life-which is just plain scary- the couple settled down to a comfortable silence. "Would you mind filling me in on what's been going on? Yami and the others were very vague with details." Seto finally muttered.  
  
Jounouchi sighed and ran his hand through his hair, "I honestly don't know, Seth was doing something crazy with them and I didn't really want to know. It has something to do with Santa Claus from my understanding, I really don't care, as long as you come back safe I'll leave you guys alone."  
  
Seto smiled softly at his puppy's trust, and nodded his head in agreement. He already knew Santa was the main issue, however it got Seth interested enough to regain body control.  
  
'It's been a long time since I've ever felt like two different people,' Seto mused to himself, 'God I hope I'm not turning into a schizophrenic...' He thought to himself.  
  
"Seto!" Jounouchi yelled.  
  
Seto jumped at the sudden increase of volume and looked over to where Jounouchi sat fuming a little. "What?"  
  
Jounouchi glared at him, "You agreed with me and Mokuba-"  
  
"Mokuba and I." He interrupted.  
  
The glare deepened, "You agreed with *Mokuba and I* to have a Christmas party this year, are you going to help decorate this place or are we going to be stuck decorating like last time for Valentine's day?" (1)  
  
Seto had the decency to smile crookedly, "Yes, I'll help decorate this time."  
  
Jounouchi did a little victory dance and ran towards Mokuba's room, "Get up kido! We got shopping to do~!" He sang. [a/n: forgive me, I always pictured Jou as the type to REALLY love Christmas]  
  
*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Alright, in all honesty, I must say that it's obvious Malik does not know about the incident, Ryou will give Bakura a lecture on behavior, and well... you saw Jou's response. But those guys are somewhat forgiving... So I wonder how Yugi took it...  
  
"How could you do that to an innocent person!" Yugi yelled throwing yet another random object at the poor Yami. Like Ryou and Jounouchi he heard the information from the news and Yami wasn't smart enough to lie and deny. "But Yu-"  
  
"Why did you do it?" The smaller one yelled holding up a vase in a threatening manner.  
  
"Honestly?" Yami asked.  
  
Yugi nodded his head, yet still had the vase high in the air.  
  
"I don't know." He answered bluntly.  
  
*CRASH~!*  
  
Well there goes that vase...  
  
"You're sleeping on the couch." Yugi muttered.  
  
"Yes koi." Yami said in a defeated voice. And he was left alone in the living room sweeping up the broken remains of the vase and the other poor objects that were abused during Yugi's rare fit of rage.  
  
He made sure to keep his distance from his love, as he wasn't sure if he was completely calm yet and made sure to smile every time Yugi glanced over or looked at him. Yes, because he was praying to every god he could think of that his charming smile would get him out of the severe trouble and pain he was put in.  
  
He was so caught up in his thoughts of sleeping on that god-awful lumpy couch that he almost didn't hear Yugi call for him. "Yes Yugi?" He asked nearly running into the kitchen fully intent to continue with his serious ass-kissing. "Bakura is on the phone." Yugi said, handing the portable phone over to his yami.  
  
"Oh?" Yami replied, he held the phone to his ear, "Hello?"  
  
"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!?!!?!"  
  
Yami pulled the phone away from his ear, and grimaced at the sheer volume coming from the deceased tomb robber. "I couldn't just yet, I was talking with Yugi!" Yami screamed into the phone, like hell he was going to put it back to his ear with Bakura in that mood, probably has Marik along with-  
  
"GET YOUR EX-ROYAL ASS OVER HERE RIGHT NOW BEFORE I SEND THIS DAMN PAYPHONE ALONG WITH THE REST OF THIS BLOCK TO THE SHADOW REALM!!!!!!!" Marik's screams seemed to cause the phone to vibrate, and Yami was willing to bet that he could have probably heard him even if he was in the living room.  
  
"Fine! I'll be there as soon as possible!"  
  
"NOOOOOOOW!!!!"  
  
Was the last scream heard before Yami slammed the phone back into its cradle. He leaned against the kitchen counter and let out a deep sigh pinching the bridge of his nose as he felt a head-ach begin to creep up on him.  
  
"So where are you going?" Yugi asked, though he tried to make it seem like he wasn't interested.  
  
Yami looked over and smiled at him, "Out to see the others, I'll be back soon hopefully." He said leaning down to place a chaste kiss on his lips; he chuckled at the sight of Yugi's blush.  
  
'Never seems to stop blushing at a simple kiss...' He thought to himself.  
  
He grabbed a heavy coat and his boots, scarf and gloves as well. Giving a quick good-bye he exited the house with a strange feeling of dread looming over him.  
  
For there was an evil presence in the air; circling and mocking everyone who mattered. (In this case pretty much the whole Yugioh cast ^_^)  
  
*~*~*~*~*~  
  
And there's chapter five.  
  
I'm pretty sure some of you can guess the horror that will be coming in the next chapter. Messa-Cookie knows cause I snapped under pressure u.u  
  
1) - I have that story finished... but I was thinking of saving it for either this valentine's day or next year's.  
  
Thank you everyone for reading, and I hope you leave a nice review at the end. If anyone has noticed this chapter seems to have a different aura wrapped around the words, why? AOTS was eating chocolate and drinking jolt while writing this! n n  
  
Again, Please Review!! 


End file.
